Marriage

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John M Gottman, PhD

Dr. Gottman has been studying marriages for several years in what he terms the “love lab” located in Seattle. In this environment, Dr. Gottman and his scientists watch the couples interact while cameras record words and facial expressions and sensors track heart rates to monitor levels of stress.

Dr. Gottman even claims to be able to predict a couple’s marital success with 91% accuracy after listening to an interaction for as little as 5 minutes. That seems like a very bold claim. If his research is able to give him this ability, everyone that cares about their marriage and/or someone else’s might want to listen to what he has to say.

Once Dr. Gottman gathers his research and can tell us if ourĀ marriage is doomed (yikes!)…what then? Dr. Gottman’s book is a great starting point. He explains common myths of marriage and what he looks for in a marriage that are common signs of a struggling relationship.

Through the rest of the book, he gives positive ways couples can connect with each other and deal with situational and long-term issues more efficiently and effectively. The book is rich with exercises couples can do together. The exercises bring practicality to the ideas presented in the text and give a great jumping off point for couples that know they want change but are stuck. He gives hope with the idea that couples reconnecting can overcome a majority of marital problems.

I like recommending Dr. Gottman’s book because I believe it is very easy to read and absorb the info. I also believe the tips and exercises are straightforward and practical. I like that he addresses what is a huge component of relationship work; this isn’t always done with other authors or speakers on the same subject. Through books and counseling, problems are usually addressed but finding ways to connect and reconnect with your spouse is a vital component and healing the past and moving forward. This book is a positive step in that direction. Happy reading!

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